Oh my cod! Filleting salmon is a load of pollocks!

Firstly let me apologise for the disasterous pun's in the title of this post, my only excuse is that filleting this behemoth was so stressful it addled my mind!

 

My best friend Angela looked at me agog when I informed her that I was going to fillet the whole salmon.

 

 (mainly because when it came to cooking it I discovered that despite all my best laid plans it didn't fit in my oven..................)

 

 But I took on the task with gusto.....

 

for the first 5 minutes.

 

 

Picture this, I am stood looking at what can only be described as a gargantuan fish sat on my little Gino DiCampo butchers block, which until this moment I had thought was of a fair size as chopping boards go. Mr Fish is looking at me with accusing eyes and there is me mulling over where to start.

And if I'm honest looking more than a little bewildered.

 

'Right Liz think..........'

 

'How did Rick Stein do this? '

 

The head!!!! The head comes off first!!

 

So I gently lift the gills so that I can find the optimum point at which to decapitate the beast and then...............the blighter bit me! Ok so I may have been in control of the very dead fish at this point but I refuse to take responsibility for my finger brushing its mouth which I now can reliably state is lined by blinkin' sharp gnashers! It drew blood!!!

In return for this onerous deed I decided to chop its head off with a little more gusto than was really necessary but revenge is sweet!

 

Might I add that my best friend is still observing this minor battle with more than a touch of amusement in her eyes (which I chose to ignore).

 

Our fishy friend is now looking like Marie Antoinette post guillotine and im feeling very pleased with myself that I managed to do it without losing any significant amount of fish flesh or my own fingers.

 

I mentally call upon the inspirational musings of Mr Stein and pray to that God of the cockle that he guide me in my endeavours. I remove the fins (which is more difficult than it sounds). I'm a reasonably intelligent woman but I found it a little suprising that the fishes fins are attached to the body by a joint. Retrospectively I have no idea why this was such a surprise because anatomy isn't something I'm particularly bad at but I digress, it was a shock at the time.

I sharpened my knives, ran my filleting knife (or the only knife in my kitchen that looks anything like a filleting knife) down the back of the spine and started to gently prise the flesh from the rib cage.

 

Salmon are slippery little suckers!!!!!!!

 

Fast forward to both fillets being removed amidst a shameful amount of swearing and one or two open threats of bodily damage to an already dead fish and voila!!!!! two lovely-ish looking salmon fillets complete with 'oh cod' bones...........................

 

Now I am one of those ultra organised (hahahahahahahaha!!) mothers who has everything in her handbag ready for any eventuality, not because everything gets thrown randomly in there and if it cant be found anywhere else it will be in mums bag, honest! So I delve into the depths of the bag looking for tweezers.

 

Aha!!! Now the inside of my handbag smells suspiciously like a fishmongers because I stupidly didn't wash my hands before delving into the bag but who cares? I found the tweezers!!

 

An hour and several bouts of bad language later...........

 

I give up! If there are any more bones in that bloody thing its tough!

 

Lined the inside of my largest baking tray with parchment paper backed with foil (its brilliant stuff you can buy it in Sainsbury's) threw some black pepper and a sliced lemon over the now decidedly ragged looking salmon fillets topped with more of aforementioned paper/foil and shoved into the fridge til the following day when it was needed.

 

Cooked it in the bottom of the oven on gas mark 3 for an hour, while we all went to church, no I'm not joking this was part of the catering for my sons christening!! when we got back the salmon was cooked perfectly, soft and flaky and I got lots of compliments about it so I forgave the salmon for biting me!

 

This is an adventure that while I am glad I embarked upon it, I will not be repeating the journey............................. Mr Fishmonger is my new best friend.

 

 



Hokey Pokey Chocolate Cake

 

Take one chocolate cake recipe as written up already on the blog, add one honeycomb/hokey pokey recipe.

http://allrecipes.co.uk/recipe/7425/honeycomb-with-golden-syrup.aspx

 

smash up the hokey pokey once its cooled down and mix half into the chocolate cake batter. Cook in cupcake cases or in a bunt tin.

 

Smother in chocolate butter cream

 

sprinkle with remaining hokey pokey

 

I mean seriously what could possibly be wrong about that combination???????????

 

 

Some things are just right without trying :D

 

 



Choux Fly Don't Bother Me!

Some people called me crazy.

Others called me brave.

 

There was nothing for it............

 

I took on my ultimate foe........

 

 

The one and only Choux Pastry!

 

Let the battle begin!!!!!!

 

 

Ding! Ding! Ding!

 

 

O.K. all jokes aside this isn't as difficult as you might think. So long as you follow the recipe ( I got mine from Richard Bertinet's book 'Pastry') very carefully and to the letter.

 

Its hard work but it is sooooo worth it to see the look of sheer admiration on the faces of your friends and family when they think you pulled off nothing short of a miracle.

 

So..... I exaggerate slightly but hey, Its my blog and I'll brag if I want to!

 

 

Anyway grab this book off the shelves (Tesco's is selling it cheaply at the minute) and have a nosey through it. Loads of hints and tips from a professional and lets face it if I can make Choux pastry and not make a complete hash of it so can you!

 

 

One thing I will suggest is that if you think the choux buns are done leave them in the oven for an extra 5 mins just to dry them out a little more and make sure the buns are a really golden brown. if you take them out too early they will go flat and all that hard work has been for nothing. (yes it did happen with the first batch I baked!

 

Same batch but second lot to be baked I left in a while longer and they turned out great.

 

 

Filled them with Crème Patissiere and top them with dark chocolate for profiteroles or be a flash harry and dip them into caramel and make a croquembouche complete with spun sugar.................I plan to do the flash harry option fairly soon so stick around to see what a balls up I make of the whole thing :D

 



Cinnamon Buns from the Hummingbird Bakery Home Sweet Home cook book

I don't know about you dear reader but my childhood featured some very basic cakes, iced fingers, cinnamon buns, Chelsea buns and custard tarts are the ones that immediately spring to mind.

The likes of the ever lusted after battenburg was for the grown ups and there was absolutely no chance of getting my grubby little mitts on a slice of blackforest gateaux!

 

Cake for us as children was very much an age divided issue, grownups got the good stuff, however that's not to say that what we got wasn't great. The good old cinnamon bun was something I always looked forward to. So while I was flicking through my slightly worn out copy of the hummingbird bakery's 'Home Sweet Home' I came across a recipe for cinnamon buns and thought to myself AH HA! I must make these!

 

The recipe was really simple, but being a bread based dough it needs the usual bread making processes, activation of the yeast, proving, knocking back, rising and so on. This may seem like a lot of fuss but with one batch of what seems like a very small amount of dough I managed to get 16 generously sized cinnamon buns, which I might add my children were fighting over!

 

I used the recipe in the book to its fullest and made the cream cheese frosting it suggests as a topping but I have to be very British and say it would have been better with some gooey royal icing over the top.

 

My husband took some with him when he went fishing and 'the fab four' as they like to be known say they tucked into them like school boys on an outing and that is compliment enough for me!

 



Last Minute Birthday Cake Dash!!!

So my 8 year old son decided to come home a few weeks ago and announce 'mum i need a birthday cake to take to school for tomorrow!'

 

AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!

 

O.K. This is where i admit that i am a bit of a food snob plus i was stoney broke so I raided my trusty baking cupboard.

 

I whipped up my never fail chocolate cake (see previous blog) andthrew some icing at it. found some fish i made from sugar paste a while back for another project that didnt come to fruition and kinda threw them at the cake too..................

The resulting cake looks far more carefully done than it actually was but armed with butter cream and some gel food colouring you cant really go wrong!

 

Here's one i made earlier! :D

Over the Rainbow Cupcakes

After having my youngest son on new years eve it occured to me that it might be a good time to get all of my children baptised. I dont know why I feel it is important because on the whole I am not particularly religious but i do know that it would mean alot to my family.

Plus I've never been one to resist an excuse for a big party!

 

So I got my thinking cap on and while having a chat with my cousin-in-law he suggested a Mad Hatters Tea Party theme.

 

I loved this idea so guess what? I'm going with it!

 

Might I add that I am going soooooo totally kitsch with this party that even Nigella Lawson would swoon! (Yes i have the drinks fountain complete with lights at the ready!)

 

Anyway I digress.

 

Ive seen alot of people do rainbow coloured sponge cakes by dying them with gel food colouring and it has worked out well by baking them individually, also ive seen some marble effect ones, so I decided to have an experiment to see if i could come up with rainbow cupcakes! (the Mad Hatter would be proud i feel!)

 

I started with a basic sponge mix which for me is equal amounts of caster sugar, butter and self raising flour, a tbsp of milk and 3 eggs per 8oz of the above ingredients, depending on the flour i use i sometimes add a teaspoon of baking powder for a little extra lift.

 

I made quite the quantity of batter! 1lb of all of the ingredients and 6 eggs!

 

I divided the mixture between 5 bowls and coloured them all with a contrasting colour (I had red, green, blue, yellow and purple)

 

 

I put cupcake cases in my tray and started to layer the colours, first red then purple then blue green and yellow (as in a rainbow)

 

 

Well i wont patronise you by telling you how to do this because I assume that i you are smart enough to have found my blog then you are smart enough to know how to put cake batter into a cupcake case!

 

I baked them for approx 25-30 mins on gas mark 6, when you think they are done check them with a skewer and if it comes out clean they are done. If not then pop them back for 5 more mins and check again.

 

Here is the finished product!

I have to admit im quite impressed with the colours, I do need to work on how to stop them dipping in the middle but that will come with practice and possibly piping the batter into the cases. I cut one in half so you can get the full effect of the colours going on!

 

SO for the christening i thought i would shock everone by having plain white icing and leaving the colour to the inside!

Talacre Beach

Wales is full of beautiful places to visit and I discovered one last weekend. We packed a picnic some blankets and plenty of sunscreen and set off north. (which considering we live in north Wales isnt going very far)

 

Everyone has heard of Rhyl, its a weel known pleasure beach and provides family fun for alot of people, but if you go just a little further along the coast you will find Talacre.

 

There is a tiny holiday village and a couple of shops and cafes. Which at £1.50 for a childrens meal and drink, couldnt possibly be more reasonably priced. Then there is beach, miles of glorious sandy beach with a little lighthouse stuck in the middle of it. Quaint is not the word!

 

I love finding places like this in the UK, we underestimate our own beauty far too often!

 

Here are some other random pictures I took along the way on that glorious summers day!